The Friend Zone. Lately, this phrase has been popping up all throughout my twitter timeline. Of course, the phrase is self-explanatory, but just in case:
“The Friend Zone” a platonic relationship where one person wishes to enter into a romantic relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation by the lovelorn person.[1] (wikipedia)
Once the friend zone is established, it is said to be difficult to move beyond that point in a relationship. This phrase is often seen used with the other popular phrase “Forever Alone”. While sitting in lab counting droplets (Ph.D.’s are exciting aren’t they?), I began to wonder how does a woman know she’s been friend-zoned. Or, more important what exactly does being “friend zoned” mean? After much thought and due to the fact that I couldn’t move or I would miss the number of droplets needed to reach 0.5uls I came up with the top 4 reasons a man might friend zone a woman.
1. He’s just not that into you. Now before you roll your eyes and say that’s, so cliche hear me out. I know as women we always say a man only thinks with his genitals. 95% of the time this might be true, but there is that strong 5% of the time where a man may actually be thinking about what he really wants in a future mate. Not every man you meet is going to be romantically or sexually attracted to you. Surprised? Why? Are you romantically and sexually attracted to every man you meet? Nope, so let’s be reasonable here, yea your that cool girl that he calls and hangs out with, you watch the game together and meet for drinks, but honestly he’s just not that into you.
2. You’re too much for him. In today’s society women are quick to scream at the top of their lungs “Oh he doesn’t want me because I intimidate him.” Ladies, ask yourselves this question. Why would you want to be with a man that you intimidate? Don’t you want a strong man that’s going to stand up to you when you’re talking smack and tell you to sit down somewhere? Don’t act like that doesn’t turn you on. You want a man that’s going to take control wear the pants and be the true head of the household. If a man feel’s he’s not right for you then trust his feelings. Maybe’s he’s not. If you want a man to “smack you around and call you Susan”, wear a bubble vest and keep a toothpick in his mouth then go after that guy. Don’t go after a guy you know will feel insecure around you. Your personality alone will automatically grant you full VIP access to the ‘The Friend Zone”.
3. You’ve shown too much of yourself via Social Media. We’ve all heard our parents say “Leave some room for the imagination” or if you’ve never heard that, what about the famous line by Lauryn Hill “Showing off your a** cause you thinking it’s a trend…Girlfriend”… In the age of Social Media this nothing is sacred anymore, women and men are showing every inch of themselves for the coveted “like” “comment,” or “repost”. You meet a guy; you take a liking to him, but he friends zones you.. why? Well, it might be because he knows more about the curvature of your breast and thighs then he does about your personality. No man wants to date a woman, let alone bring a woman home that has shown off her entire body for the world. That is unless your name is Kanye West…. Pictures aren’t the only reason a man might friend zone you. Posting messages on facebook and twitter saying #nolongersexless or “I got so drunk last night.” will not help you find the man of your dreams. It will only turn off those who were truly interested and put you in “the friend zone.”
4. You’re not ready for a Man. As we get older we start keeping time based on our biological clocks rather than our real watches. We impatiently seek out someone to be with, to marry, and raise a family with (google Kenya Moore) without thinking about whether we’re truly ready to receive the man that God has ordained to be our partner in life. If the only thing a guy hears you talking or tweeting about is how you’re gonna be forever alone, how you can’t find a man, or how you’re an independent women and don’t really NEED a man then why wouldn’t he friend zone you? I always tell my friends to stop looking, once you stop looking and focus on yourself and your path then your true love will show up. I firmly believe in acting like a lady in every aspect of your life. Yes, now and then it’s okay to cut loose and drop it like it’s hot but always remember there is somebody watching, and your actions may easily get you “friend-zoned.”
Let’s chat it up! I would love to hear your thoughts and comments on why you think women get friend-zoned. Of course, women aren’t the only ones that get friend zoned, men also experience this phenomenon. What is up with the Friend Zone??
I love this and it hit some key points about women settling once they get to a certain age. I want to add, “sexing too soon.” If you and a guy a sexually attracted to each other that’s fine but it’s a 85% chance a man is not wifing up someone he sexed up in the first week. (Now stats proved 15% of married couple had sex w/in 90 days) Each relationship is different but I suggest the man court the woman so it can make him see your worth. He could have initially liked you, but the early sex knocked you back to the “friend zone.” I think even if he marries you in the back of his mind he knows his wife is a little loose.(hey but people can change!!)
Good topic!!!
Great comment! A man wants a women that he has to work for or intrigues him. Not one that gives everything up too easily. There is no fun in that!